Smokey the Bear suffered from a lack of foresight.
Recently environmentalists have noticed an upward trend in the destruction caused by forest fires.
They also noticed this upward trend correlated suspiciously well with a different upward trend,
The use of the phrase:
“Only You Can Protect Forest Fires”
Humans, they say, are too effective at preventing forest fires, allowing litter and debris to build up
And because humans are not yet perfect at preventing forest fires,
All this does is provide more kindling.
Turns out a little fire is good.
But knowing that doesn’t make the burning in my head hurt any less,
So still I
Try to put it out in an ashtray,
Douse it with water.
But I’m not any better at preventing forest fires than most people,
So it’s only a matter of time before it’s all ablaze

I blame the liberal media,
That expansive, indistinct entity which is practically infallible
Because even though we’re supposed to hate it for its bias and corruption and sensationalism
I can’t help but like them because they make my political stances look good
As it turns out, I’m a pack animal
Just like the donkey
(Though maybe here, ass is more appropriate)

After the liberal media told me Only [I] Could Prevent Forest Fires,
They started to explain to me
That everyone is a result of their environment.
Nurture is key, they say.
We are unfortunate victims of the circumstances of our birth.
And I suppose to an extent that may be true,
But isn’t it wrong that I feel no responsibility for the mental stress I’m under?
Or for the pain I cause others out of selfishness because I need to “put myself first”
Or for the poor traits I exhibit because “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”

They say we’re the “me” generation
Mindless, irreverent, narcissists
But I think that’s inaccurate,
Because although I’m self-obsessed, the DSM-V classifies narcissists as holding the belief that they are better than others
WebMD has been terrible for my hypochondria
(Self-diagnosed I’ll admit.)
WebMD is successful for the same reason horoscopes are:
Give anyone vague enough specifications, and they will identify with it
But isn’t everyone fatigued anyways?
And isn’t everyone suffering from headaches?
And that constant crawling in my skin is just the physical sensation of my Manifest Destiny pulling me into everyday of the rest of my life
The Prime Mover
An ethereal whisper in my ear:
“Don’t look back. Don’t look back”
We all know Orpheus’s struggle, running blindly ahead,
everything we’ve ever wanted
Dissipating before our eyes with every wavering doubt.