(Something spoken, I think)
I ask you to consider the notion of collision.
Of collapse.
Of sacrifice.
Of death.
I will passionately support the pursuit of knowledge any time any day any place- as if my life depends on it
And I suppose it does.
But alchemy isn’t all crazy
The universe seems to ask for exchange
Knowledge is rarely bestowed divinely upon us mere mortals.
Education, like life, is suffering.
Suffering into truth, I’m assured.
Few things can be learned without sacrifice of some sort.
Perhaps no things.
Consider the lobotomy-
Shock therapy-
The point at which your femurs can no longer support weight-
We only know of certain human limits because the Nazis were the most relentless philosophers.
Nothing was more valuable than knowing,
No sacrifice was too great
Yet their greatest military failures could’ve been avoided by looking just over their shoulders.
I don’t believe in torture but I definitely believe we should’ve gone to the moon.
Doing science is like trying to make the perfect omelette- imagine what you’re gonna have to do to those eggs.
When I was little I did a science project on supernovas
A topic I requested.
I thought they were spectacular- but learning about them made me sad.
No other presentation in the class featured the word “death”.
So much energy- so much life and time and history packed into these beautiful glowing balls of science-
Ceasing to be.
Like an animation to a delete function.
And we have pictures.
The death of a star is truly tragic.
Hawking says black holes “remember” what they absorb.
I wonder how much of our sun would be remembered.
I wonder if they remember what it feels like to collide.
I wonder what memory brought us this beautiful sound of the silent vacuum.
I wonder if it hurts.
I wonder if we deserve to hear it.
I wonder if maybe trees just want to fall alone and unheard.
I am made to wonder if modern medicine was worth it.
“I’m sorry for your loss, but if it means anything his heart was really weird so I’ll get to publish a paper about it”
“It seems she died in pain, but now we have a video of a brain suffering to death. In color.”
I wonder how many doctors cry while they change the world.
Science is beautiful.
Science is sad.
I guess it’s easier to love learning if you pretend you can’t read between the lines.

In the past two years I’ve compared the theory of gravitation to Lavoisier’s caloric theory in three different papers.
Boy, don’t I feel stupid.

Isn’t it messed up that everything is eventually just waves?
Beautiful- absolutely, yes- but these things are not mutually exclusive.
Think of all the times we say things “aren’t so simple”
I say it every day to people asking about Wi-Fi-
Or data transfer-
Or how to turn one file type into another.
We talk about things like they’re completely different kinds of files and we’re tryna figure out how they run on the same OS,
But it looks like they’re more like zip files.
We can move them around freely and put them side by side and into each other and unpack and repack and everything will stay exactly as it was, just differently.
Maybe just in a different place.
A different context.
Things aren’t so simple.
Language isn’t so simple.
Temperature isn’t so simple.
“I wish I could, but java isn’t so simple”
I wonder if that’s our fault.
Because I guess the universe thinks it’s all simple, right?
“It’s all waves, homie.
Just knock stuff together and listen real hard.”
Isn’t it funny-
Isn’t it crazy-
Isn’t it a little fucked how all these vibrations can just be made into music?
And math?
And circles if you feel like it?
Isn’t it wild that, for example, any wave can be made into music?
Consider: There is, conceptually, a song of the universe.
A collection of waves that make up our everything.
And you can put them together in order and listen to it, if you can make the time.
I wonder what kind of song it would be.
I’m sure it’d be fire.